A Post-Tech Reality?

What are the things that will make me successful in reaching for something new in this new post-tech reality?

That probably needs some explanation.

Over the last few weeks, I have started to come to terms with something I never really imagined I would have to seriously consider: my tech career may actually be over. After 18 years in the industry, leading teams, building products, mentoring people, and caring deeply about the work, I cannot seem to get traction. More than 200 job applications later, interviews are non-existent, and at some point the silence starts to tell a story whether you want to hear it or not.

Maybe I am wrong. Maybe something changes. But lately, I have been trying to emotionally prepare for the possibility that this chapter of my life may actually be ending.

Yesterday, I was asked what I wanted to achieve with Discoastal and Particle Bunni. I really struggled with the question at first because I honestly did not have an answer. What do I want to achieve? If I am retired, as Jessie jokingly suggests, then what do I want from this phase of my life?

That is actually a really good question.

I think I would like to transition into a phase of life that is more about creating things. Music. Writing. Visuals. Ideas. Things that feel like a reflection of me and who I am. But even writing that raises another question: who am I?

In a lot of ways, I think I have been drifting through life without really thinking deeply about what I was actually reaching for. I thought kiting and going to Baja was going to be it, but it felt empty, and if I am being honest, parts of the culture around it felt empty too. I felt something similar after winning bicycle races and, in a lot of ways, during my tech career.

Maybe “empty” is not exactly the right word. Those things mattered. They shaped me, and I learned a lot from them. But there was always this feeling that something meaningful sat just outside my reach, like fulfillment was waiting somewhere over the next hill.

Which is what feels so strange about the last six months.

In all actuality, this may be the happiest and most fulfilled I have ever felt. That feels almost absurd to say because, objectively, this is probably one of the least stable periods of my life. But for the first time, the work feels aligned. Discoastal. Particle Bunni. Making things. Collaborating. Exploring ideas. Following curiosity instead of expectation. Building something because it feels meaningful instead of because it is practical.

I still do not really know what I want to achieve through all of this, and maybe that is okay for now. Maybe the point is simply to keep putting one foot in front of the other and continue the work. For the first time in my life, the work itself feels fulfilling.

I do not know where any of this leads yet. Maybe that is part of the point.